Tree Mirrors in Peace Park
Buddha's Flower
Witchy Night
-Anika
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Photoshop Experiments
My very first Photoshop productions! I'm still a Photoshop apprentice but its a good beginning. I can't wait to see what else I can do with this program. It. is. AWESOME. =)
Monday, January 23, 2012
Come Sail Away
Some notes on writing and motivation:
1. Yet again, on the perils of writing for the public. Something that I have to address now more than ever:
In my very first blog I wrote about the difference between writing in a journal for private purposes and writing on a blog. The only reason I find it hard to write in my journal is because I have too much to say; so much so that sometimes I worry my hand will hurt by the end of the entry. On the other hand, when it comes to writing in my blog I sometimes feel like I have nothing to say that's worthy of of public reading. I also feel pressured to write formally for my blog with the knowledge that others will read it. So, I neglect writing in Shangri-la until I know that my subject or writing is suited for public access. Seems logical right? I'm not quite sure. Lately I've been wondering- what is the real reason I find it difficult to commit this blog? Is it really for lack of an interesting subject? Or, is it really a fear of inadequacy that keeps me from writing?
I believe that during any creative process, it becomes necessary to ask these questions about yourself. What inspires you, what motivates you, and what keeps you from achieving your goal? Asking these kinds of questions not only helped me understand what obstacles I face (self-made or otherwise), it also helped me understand the ways I subconsciously battle these obstacles. For instance, even as I struggle to do justice to my blog, I ironically decide to design and write an entire online magazine. Upon first glance it seems illogical of me to commit to writing a magazine every month when I struggle just to keep up with a blog. However, when I stop and consider the nature of my very ironic decision, it becomes apparent why I continue to pursue this magazine unvexed by the same fears that hinder my commitment to this blog. The answer is simple. You see, despite my efforts to separate the two, a blog really isn't that different from a journal. It's recreational and helps me organize my thoughts. The magazine, on the other hand, is a challenge. Now, come to think of it, challenges have always been a source of motivation for me. Despite the dampening nature that fear of rejection or failure poses on the pursuit of my own passions, the thrill of a challenge has always been far too powerful for me to resist. My whole life... I never thought that I liked being challenged until just recently when I realized there was no one left to challenge me. No professors, no parents. No Pico Humbolt on my dads adventure agenda, no 40-page capstone paper, no creative chore at the end of my moms list:
This brings me to my second topic.
1. Yet again, on the perils of writing for the public. Something that I have to address now more than ever:
In my very first blog I wrote about the difference between writing in a journal for private purposes and writing on a blog. The only reason I find it hard to write in my journal is because I have too much to say; so much so that sometimes I worry my hand will hurt by the end of the entry. On the other hand, when it comes to writing in my blog I sometimes feel like I have nothing to say that's worthy of of public reading. I also feel pressured to write formally for my blog with the knowledge that others will read it. So, I neglect writing in Shangri-la until I know that my subject or writing is suited for public access. Seems logical right? I'm not quite sure. Lately I've been wondering- what is the real reason I find it difficult to commit this blog? Is it really for lack of an interesting subject? Or, is it really a fear of inadequacy that keeps me from writing?
I believe that during any creative process, it becomes necessary to ask these questions about yourself. What inspires you, what motivates you, and what keeps you from achieving your goal? Asking these kinds of questions not only helped me understand what obstacles I face (self-made or otherwise), it also helped me understand the ways I subconsciously battle these obstacles. For instance, even as I struggle to do justice to my blog, I ironically decide to design and write an entire online magazine. Upon first glance it seems illogical of me to commit to writing a magazine every month when I struggle just to keep up with a blog. However, when I stop and consider the nature of my very ironic decision, it becomes apparent why I continue to pursue this magazine unvexed by the same fears that hinder my commitment to this blog. The answer is simple. You see, despite my efforts to separate the two, a blog really isn't that different from a journal. It's recreational and helps me organize my thoughts. The magazine, on the other hand, is a challenge. Now, come to think of it, challenges have always been a source of motivation for me. Despite the dampening nature that fear of rejection or failure poses on the pursuit of my own passions, the thrill of a challenge has always been far too powerful for me to resist. My whole life... I never thought that I liked being challenged until just recently when I realized there was no one left to challenge me. No professors, no parents. No Pico Humbolt on my dads adventure agenda, no 40-page capstone paper, no creative chore at the end of my moms list:
1. Wash the dishes.
2. Dust the staircase.
3. Clean the bathroom.
4. Dust the window panels.
5. Write a poem about a flower.
Now, as an adult, I have to challenge myself. I think I like it. =)
This brings me to my second topic.
2. Motivation and Muses
When I graduated college last year I suffered from what I can only describe as boredom. Although, it felt more like a constant search for something. I consciously sought out intelligent people and good conversation. I started building goals, envisioning business strategies, mapping out possible futures, pursuing hobbies. At the time I assumed I was just looking for an escape route; a strategy to keep me from joining corporate America. However, in retrospect I was looking for a challenge or adventure. Although every challenge we face in life presents different obstacles, the common denominator in every one of the challenges I've faced thus far is the thrill I get from it.
I like to think of a "thrill" as a product of a friction between two internal forces: the force of desire (that which propels us or entices us to pursue it), and the force of mystery (that which inhibits our ability to predict the consequences of pursuing it). The mixture of the two forces results in something along the lines of anxiety and excitement. For me, it's like a soft electrifying force that strikes us when we stumble across an opportunity so good that it both stirs the emotions and evokes a fear of the unknown. The thrill comes in the exact moment when you dive into the cool, salty ocean after having stood on the pier for hours, looking back at the paved lit streets wondering whether to walk or sail away.
Now... I wrote so much about the sensation of being thrilled because I think experience is a necessary component of the creative process. Thrills are produced by immense amusement something/someone/a situation, but like I previously noted, a thrill also implies a sense of fear. Its a fusion of the two most prominent yet opposing sources of human motivation: the desire to do and the fear to do. While it may be inevitable to avoid fear, its not impossible to overcome it. Moreover... the result of "friction" or "fusion" is supposed to be the creation of something brand new. It seems I'm slowly learning that when you are amused or inspired by something and decide to pursue it, you can't let the scary part of the thrill stop you from pursuing it. Nothing ever comes from fear but stagnation. Instead, view that a sense of uncertainty as a natural part of the process of creating something completely original. Appreciate its purpose in the process and sail away.
Anika
I like to think of a "thrill" as a product of a friction between two internal forces: the force of desire (that which propels us or entices us to pursue it), and the force of mystery (that which inhibits our ability to predict the consequences of pursuing it). The mixture of the two forces results in something along the lines of anxiety and excitement. For me, it's like a soft electrifying force that strikes us when we stumble across an opportunity so good that it both stirs the emotions and evokes a fear of the unknown. The thrill comes in the exact moment when you dive into the cool, salty ocean after having stood on the pier for hours, looking back at the paved lit streets wondering whether to walk or sail away.
Now... I wrote so much about the sensation of being thrilled because I think experience is a necessary component of the creative process. Thrills are produced by immense amusement something/someone/a situation, but like I previously noted, a thrill also implies a sense of fear. Its a fusion of the two most prominent yet opposing sources of human motivation: the desire to do and the fear to do. While it may be inevitable to avoid fear, its not impossible to overcome it. Moreover... the result of "friction" or "fusion" is supposed to be the creation of something brand new. It seems I'm slowly learning that when you are amused or inspired by something and decide to pursue it, you can't let the scary part of the thrill stop you from pursuing it. Nothing ever comes from fear but stagnation. Instead, view that a sense of uncertainty as a natural part of the process of creating something completely original. Appreciate its purpose in the process and sail away.
Anika
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